Monday, June 15, 2009
Posted by vanilla at 2:15 PM
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Posted by vanilla at 4:32 PM
Sunday, May 03, 2009
I've previously considered that I might be an alien to my own race. There's a high probability that it’s true. I've recently factored in another probability. I might be an alien everywhere, not just my own race or country.
A few years ago, I wrote about feeling out of place and not belonging anywhere. I'm feeling it again. It might or might not be my own doing but the facts were these:
- Trying to improve my usual self (immature, naïve, carefree, etc.), I developed a goal.
- And I tried really hard to alienate whatever that is me and whatever I'm comfortable with to be able to achieve this goal. (Believe me it’s not as simple as reaching Level 33 in CoD WaW and even harder ignoring everything that I love).
- But I did it. The result? It is not enough. Despite the physical, emotional, financial hardship I’ve gone through, it is still not enough.
- I can deal with “not enough”. I can try harder. The major pain in the ass is that, apparently whatever I do or say is translated into a whole bunch of implied meanings to some people, even if I mean something else or don’t mean anything at all!
- It might seem like a simple/small hiccup but it is actually about to make my head explode with frustration because it's unavoidable everyday. Prejudice and assumptions. It reminded me of this one saying “Do not ASSUME things because it makes an ASS out of U and ME”.
- I've tried so hard to establish a comfortable place where I could feel like I belong. Now that place is crumbling apart and this frustration is spreading like Mexican Pig Flu (I don't want to say Swine Flu or H1N1 because it sounds lame).
- It really made me consider phoning home but if I go back, they’d probably screen me and quarantine me at the airport anyways for bringing back foreign contaminants.
Posted by vanilla at 3:56 PM
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Posted by vanilla at 10:47 PM
Friday, January 02, 2009
Making self-improvement New Year's resolutions often leaves people feeling worse, the British mental health charity Mind warned Thursday.
Mind urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections -- such as attempting to lose weight -- because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression.
And when such optimistic resolutions fail, that could spark feelings of inadequacy and failure, the charity warned.
"New Year's resolutions can sometimes focus on our problems or insecurities such as being overweight, feeling unhappy in our jobs or feeling guilty about not devoting enough time to friends and family throughout the year," said Mind chief executive Paul Farmer.
"We chastise ourselves for our perceived shortcomings and set unrealistic goals to change our behaviour, so it's not surprising that when we fail to keep resolutions, we end up feeling worse than when we started.
"In 2009, instead of making a New Year's resolution, think positively about the year to come and what you can achieve."
Mind suggested resolution-makers focus instead on being active, connecting with nature, learning something new and working for one's community.© 2009 AFP
Posted by vanilla at 6:42 PM